thoughtsofafatgirl

One year journey

My mother called


It was pitch black with no moon or stars to light my way. I was sitting in my father’s house on the couch. I knew I shouldn’t be there, I knew something wasnt right. I couldn’t make myself get up to look around for anyone else. I wouldn’t allow myself to call out for anyone from fear of who might call back. I saw a flash of light from outside, I saw my father.  What was he doing? Why was he digging a hole under one of the old plum trees that line the middle of the yard? The medal of the shovel is what got my attention it was so shiny, it must be new. I watched him dig the hole curious to see what would come of it. After about five minutes he dropped the shovel and walked a couple of steps and picked up two small bodies and threw them in the grave. I woke up, what the fuck!!! These nightmares are getting worse, I don’t think my body is able to tell the difference anymore between real life and dreams. My body ached the whole day from the fear I felt. I didn’t go to work that day , I didn’t do anything that day. I have to talk to my mom sort thru my past get things strait so I can go on with my life. I was headed to the room to get my phone when I heard it ring. My mom, how did I know. She said my father wants to talk to my brother, sister and I. He wanted to apologize for everything and have something to do with us again. I told her I was willing to sit down and talk things out. I don’t think my brother will be as willing as I am but we shall see. We are going to get together this sunday at his house. I’m just going to make sure we are out of there before night fall. I wonder if dreams still mean anything or are they just thoughts and interpretations of past events. I wonder if my dream was a warning?

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June 28, 2011 - Posted by | Still life | , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Very good!! I’m anxious to know what happens!

    Comment by Lisa | June 28, 2011 | Reply

    • So am I 🙂 I don’t think I will get any sleep until then!

      Comment by thoughtsofafatgirl | June 28, 2011

  2. wow o:…
    I think you’re right, sometimes these kind of coincidental nightmares mean something. I think you’re nightmare was really scary… (coincidentally, I just woke up from a scary nightmare too.. :S) but it won’t stop you from trying to talk things out with your father (right?) I have no idea about the background of your life, but I wish you luck 🙂 I hope things turn out for the better ^^

    Comment by NyankoHime | June 29, 2011 | Reply

  3. My background is bittersweet and something I have to come to accept. I’m not going to let my dream stop me from seeing him because I have to put closure to the past to move on with the future. Thanks for wishing me luck I need all I can get. 🙂 Oh, and if you have anymore nightmares listen to music. I have a couple of my favorite relaxing songs on my i-pod I listen to to relax me back to sleep. It helps if you have nobody to rock you back to sleep. lol

    Comment by thoughtsofafatgirl | June 29, 2011 | Reply


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