thoughtsofafatgirl

One year journey

My mother called


It was pitch black with no moon or stars to light my way. I was sitting in my father’s house on the couch. I knew I shouldn’t be there, I knew something wasnt right. I couldn’t make myself get up to look around for anyone else. I wouldn’t allow myself to call out for anyone from fear of who might call back. I saw a flash of light from outside, I saw my father.  What was he doing? Why was he digging a hole under one of the old plum trees that line the middle of the yard? The medal of the shovel is what got my attention it was so shiny, it must be new. I watched him dig the hole curious to see what would come of it. After about five minutes he dropped the shovel and walked a couple of steps and picked up two small bodies and threw them in the grave. I woke up, what the fuck!!! These nightmares are getting worse, I don’t think my body is able to tell the difference anymore between real life and dreams. My body ached the whole day from the fear I felt. I didn’t go to work that day , I didn’t do anything that day. I have to talk to my mom sort thru my past get things strait so I can go on with my life. I was headed to the room to get my phone when I heard it ring. My mom, how did I know. She said my father wants to talk to my brother, sister and I. He wanted to apologize for everything and have something to do with us again. I told her I was willing to sit down and talk things out. I don’t think my brother will be as willing as I am but we shall see. We are going to get together this sunday at his house. I’m just going to make sure we are out of there before night fall. I wonder if dreams still mean anything or are they just thoughts and interpretations of past events. I wonder if my dream was a warning?

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June 28, 2011 Posted by | Still life | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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